Present Tense/Transcript
Written here is the full transcript of the episode "Present Tense" from the television series Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. This transcript has been separated into three segments, indicated accordingly to the episode's commercial breaks. Character dialogue lines were originally written by the episode's screenwriter, . Descriptions shown between italicized brackets were written by action=history}} contributors of this article. __TOC__ Act 1 episode opens up to a snow-filled [[Valley of Peace]. Kids are throwing snowballs at each other while there is music being played by three villagers. In Mr. Ping's Noodle Shop, Po, the Furious Five, Shifu, and several other out-of-towners, prepare for the Winter Festival. MR. PING: Ok everybody... He he... We're gonna have many, many, many people here for the Winter Festival feast. Lots of out-of-towners this year, like Xiao Niao, Li Tang, and Difan Lui. XIAO NIAO: Yay! (claps her hands) SHIFU: Welcome. Now, since we're inviting the kung fu masters here, there are going to be a lot of mouths to feed. So I'd like to thank the Furious Five for volunteering to help. TIGRESS: I didn't volunteer. PO: 'You weren't there when Shifu passed around the sign-up sheet, so I wrote your name in. You're welcome! ''toward Shifu and Mr. Ping. Well, we got a lot of work to do, so lets all get to it. '''MR. PING: Great! Now Po, if you could... PO: I'm on it, Dad! runs into the Noodle Shop. In his room, Po is seen carving a piece of wood. Tigress walks up. TIGRESS: Po? gives a startled yell. Your father needs you. PO: Uh, just a minute. Almost done. TIGRESS: With what? PO: Hang on. (Grunts) This! turns around holding a bent piece of wood with a dip at the end. Every year I make my dad a Winter Festival present. TIGRESS: A boomerang? PO: No, it's a spoon. TIGRESS: That's a spoon? PO: It's a... I couldn't find a straight piece of wood, and... TIGRESS: You guys make such a big deal about this holiday, and you're giving your dad that? turns and leaves. PO: Um, yeah. But, I mean, it took me a long time to... carve it. MR. PING: Hey Po! I need more sesame seeds! PO: I'm on it, Dad! goes to the basement and begins looking for the seeds. PO: Sesame seeds, sesame seeds. If I was a sesame, where would I... OH MY GOSH! Dad got me the nunchucks I've been wanting forever! picks them up and begins practicing. Solid silver! Perfectly balanced! continues practicing with the nunchucks until the spoon falls out of his pocket. He picks it up and compares the two gifts. PO: Oh man! Tigress is right. How's Dad going to feel when I give him this? imagines a few scenarios of how his father might react. First he runs away, gasping and sobbing. he imagines Mr. Ping insulting him. MR. PING: You're no son of mine! turns around. Mr. Ping burns Po by breathing fire on him. PO: Oh man. Dad deserves more than my lousy, homemade spoon. I got to get him something better. Mr. Ping is assigning jobs to everyone. MR. PING: Tigress and Xiao Niao, I need you to wrap up some little presents I got for everyone. Ping hands Tigress a box. XIAO NIAO: Yay! I love helping (Grabs one of the gifts off the box) Don't you love wrapping presents? It's so creative. (Giggles excitedly) TIGRESS: We are not gonna get along. (Po comes downstairs) PO: Hey, Viper, I need...Whoa. Sweet necklace. XIAO NIAO: I know, right? Don't you love it? (Shows the necklace to Tigress) Tigress: It looks like an old apple-core. (Xiao Niao looks at it and laughs) XIAO NIAO: (laughs) You're funny! (Giggles) (Po sets down the seeds for his father) MR. PING: Oh thank you, son. Now if you could... PO: I'm on it, Dad! (Grabs Viper) Need your help. (The scene changes with Po and Viper walk down the street where some young children are having a snowball fight.) PO: Viper, you have to help me get my Dad a present as awesome as the one he got me. All I did was carve him a lousy spoon. VIPER: Po, what's important about a gift, is that it comes from your heart. A handmade spoon is a lovely...(He shows her the spoon.)...Oh, wow, yeah. Let's hit the market place. (They walk into the busy marketplace.) Po, what does your Dad love more than anything else, besides you. PO: Well, that would have to be cooking. VIPER: So why don't we look for something cooking-related? PO: See? This is why I needed you. You are the master! VIPER: Some chopsticks? PO: Ahhh, too cheap. VIPER: A bamboo steamer? PO: He's got like three hundred of them. VIPER: A rice baller? PO: Naaa. (Turns and sees a 'wok-shaped thing') (Collective sigh) It's beautiful. It's the most beautiful wok-shaped thing I've ever seen. It's perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Dad will love this. How much is it? SALESMAN: For you, five hundred yuan. PO: FI-FI-FI-FI-FIVE HUNDRED YUAN!!! Do I look like someone who has five hundred yuan? SALESMAN: No sir, you do not. Could I interest you in some pre-owned chopsticks? PO: Where am I going to get... HU: Five hundred yuan! Five hundred yuan reward for the capture of this escaped convict. PO: Constable Hu, can I see that? HU: Certainly, Dragon Warrior. I'd go after the scoundrel myself, but I have seemed to have developed a... bit of a paper cut. VIPER: (Gasps) It's Shengqi. He's a kung fu master from Muchang Township . They say he could have been one of the greatest ever. Shengqi is definitely not someone you want to mess with, Po. PO: Maybe not. But my Dad deserves an awesome Winter Festival present. I'll do it. HU: Excellent, sir! Best of luck to you. VIPER: Po, are you sure about this? PO: That wok ain't gonna buy itself. Next stop, Muchang Township. (Scene changes to Muchang Township. Po walks up.) PO: Okay. This is either Muchang Township or the South Sea. (He sees a goat.) Excuse me, is this Muchang? Villager #1: Why yes it is. Are you here for the Winter Festival feast? Po: Well, I… Villager #1: Hey everybody! We got company! chattering crowd appears from behind Villager #1 and approaches Po. Villager #2: Oh… so nice to have a fresh face around here! Oh hi, how are ya? scene cuts to a door suddenly opening. Shengqi looks from the tiny gap and then closes the door. Villager #2: Welcome to our village! It’s so nice to have you. Listen, we made all the… Villager #3: Such a young man. I-oh… Villager #1: We hardly ever get strangers in town for the Winter Festival. Po: chuckles Great to meet you all. Actually, I’m just looking for Shengqi. crowd turn their smiles into angry frowns. Po: But did I hear something about dumplings? around and laughs nervously Hey, uh, where’d the happy faces go? villagers surrounding him are seen closely with their angry frowns. Po: Now you’re all like, frowny, and your eyebrows are all smushed down and stuff. swords suddenly appear and point at Po. Villagers: Hey, leave Shengqi alone! Shengqi’s a good guy! He didn’t do anything! Villager #4: off-screen There’s only two ways this can go down. villager is shown holding a hammer-mace hybrid weapon. Villager #4: Either we smash you into a pulp, or… uhh… Now that I think about it, there’s really just the one way. holds his hands up more as the surrounding swords inch closer. of Act 1 Act 2 episode continues with Po surrounded by the hostile villagers. Villagers: Leave Shengqi alone! Shengqi’s a good guy! Shengqi didn’t do anything! Po: chuckles I’m sure you guys are only trying to protect a friend, so I have to warn you. fighting stance I’m the Dragon Warrior. Villager #4: Sure… And I’m the Emperor. and the villagers fight. Po easily defeats them. With his leg, he playfully spins Villager #4 and his weapon, causing the villager to end up in a different position from the weapon after every spin. Villager #4: Wait. What? Po: Wanna see it again? weapon I can keep doing this all day. three more times Believe me now, Emperor Not-Previously-Believing? Villager #4: Ok… maybe you’re the Dragon Warrior a little bit. But ya won’t get any information out of us! at a direction And I am not pointing out Shengqi’s hut over there. Po: at given direction Thanks. Villager #4: own head Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. over slowly walks up to Shengqi’s hut and kicks open the door. The door swings back and knocks Po down the stairs. Po: door and smiles Knock knock. falls over enters the hut and doesn’t find Shengqi inside. Po: Huh. out window and sees footprints Haha, prints! Of the foot-ish variety. hut scene cuts to Mr. Ping moving a box of presents and both Tigress and Xiao Niao sitting next to each other inside the shop. Xiao Niao: wrapping a present There! Mine’s a bird. What’s yours? Tigress: Geometrically perfect. Xiao Niao: next to Tigress So, do you have all your presents ready? I love to make things for people. Do you make presents or buy them? Tigress: I don’t give presents. Xiao Niao: Well, it’s not all about presents. There’s also gifts! Not to mention making the Tang Yuan dumplings and eating the Tang Yuan dumplings and maybe making some more of the Tang Yuan dumplings. Tigress: angry I don’t like the Winter Festival, ok? It’s a waste of time. Xiao Niao: pauses And I love the singing. gasps Hey, I know what you need to get in the holiday spirit! Tigress: Please don’t say a sing-a-long. Xiao Niao: A sing-a-long! pulls out a ruan and plays it. '' '''Xiao Niao:' singing The winter snows may fall. And chill us to the bone. Our warmth will spread from toes to head from family and home. quietly growls in defeat. Xiao Niao: La-lala-la-la-la… scene fades to a snowy mountain range. continues walking along the road, until he looks up and sees someone walking up a staircase. Po: gasps Shengqi! turns around and walks up. Po: Stop, Shengqi! chases You’re going back to prison. slips Whoa-ah! scene cuts to Po barrel-rolling his way to the top of the stairs. carefully walks in with his fighting stance. He continues to walk and look around, until Shengqi leaps out from a rooftop with a sword. They fight. Po: Come on! Don’t you wanna go back to Chorh-Gom? attacks I hear they’re putting in a swimming pool. Shengqi: What do you care if I go back to jail? Po: I care about justice! And honor! out spoon And I need the reward money to get my dad a better Winter Festival present. fighting Seriously, will you look at this thing? I can’t give this thing to my dad! You can hardly even tell it’s a spoon. Shengqi: That’s a spoon? fighting continues, until Po traps Shengqi underneath a wheelbarrow. Shengqi: Please, don’t turn me in! My daughter! I must keep my promise. gives him a confused look. Shengqi: Ehh, let me explain. scene fades into 2D animation with Shengqi as the narrator. Shengqi: You see, I was the bodyguard of Duke Pingjun. All was well, until last year’s Winter Festival. Duke Pingjun was holding a feast for his wealthy friends. An enormous moon cake was served. But one of the serving girls slipped. And the cake was ruined. Furious, the duke went to slap the girl. That girl… was my daughter. Embarrassed before his guests, he accused me of assault and had me locked up in Chorh-Gom Prison. For life. And that was the last time… I saw my daughter. scene fades back into 3D animation. Shengqi: I promised I’d get back to her for the Winter Festival Po: away tears That’s a sad story. out spoon ''Almost as sad as my present for my dad. '''Shengqi:' chuckles Take it from a father, Po. It’s not how nice the present is that matters. As long as it comes from the heart. and Shengqi exchange smiles. Shengqi: Plus, that spoon isn’t really that bad. Po: sighs Yeah, I guess. frowns Wait, this spoon is so that bad! You’re just lying to me so I’ll let you go! Shengqi: N-no! I— Po: You probably don’t even have a daughter! Lying McFibberson! angrily frowns and kicks away the wheelbarrow, along with Po. Po falls down the stairs and over the railing, leaving him hanging over the edge. Shengqi: How about I throw you a rope? Po: smiles That’d be great! scene cuts to Po completely wrapped around in rope. Po: Not so great. Shengqi: I’m sorry you don’t believe me, Po. You seem like a good guy, but I have a promise to keep. away Po: What? To go like, hit a guy? out spoon Oh man, now I’m gonna have to give my dad this stupid spoon-erang. pauses Wait a second. Spoon-erang? spoon Now work your magic! spoon returns, but it is unable to cut the rope. groans in disappointment. rock holding up the rope - is shown to shake. The rope snaps and lets Po fall on his back on a curved rock. Po: in pain Inconvenient. Rock. Placement. rock above falls on Po’s stomach. Po: and frees himself Stupid spoon. pauses Shengqi… I’m coming for you. away and groans in pain scene cuts to Xiao Niao in the shop playing with her ruan. Xiao Niao: singing When the chill wind blows and everybody knows there’s a— Tigress: angry ''Will you give it a rest already? ''Niao smiles at her. Tigress: That’s why I can’t stand this holiday! All this… happy family stuff! and Crane casually stroll in with boxes on their shoulders. Monkey: You shouldn’t have gotten her started. away Crane: Same speech. Every year. away Tigress: angry Presents. And the singing. And the Tang Yuan. I can’t stand Tang Yuan dumplings. They’re gluey. And you never know what they’re filled with. And I never had a family feast. Niao scoots back more and more from the aggressive, towering Tigress. Eventually, the snap of a ruan string is heard. Tigress: And I never got presents because I don’t have a family, like you do. Xiao Niao: I don’t have a family. I’m all alone. loses her rage and looks in guilt at Xiao Niao. '' '''Xiao Niao:' The only present I’m getting this year is one of these party favors. All I have are… my memories. down in sadness I’m gonna go make the Tang Yuan. up broken ruan You really think you don’t have a family? away Xiao Niao leaves, Tigress sees Shifu and the other four putting up decorations. scene cuts to Po seeing a guard standing at the top of some stairs. Po: up What’s up? guard points a spear at him. Po: hands up Whoa whoa whoa! Dragon Warrior here. guard puts down his spear. A few injured guards are shown behind him. Guard: sighs Thank goodness you’re here, Dragon Warrior! He’s tearing us apart! Po: Who? Guard: Shengqi! guard falls from above and lands near the injured guards. Guard: Ya gotta do something! It’s my turn next! I can’t do it. You can have the reward! I don’t care! spear and hugs Po Please, don’t make me go up there! cries I can’t… Po: reluctantly Gah-ha-ha-ha-ha-alright. Alright alright! Guard: smiles Great! We’re all behind you. Except, you know, from down here. Where it’s safe. successfully climbs up the mountain and looks down. Po: deeply That would’ve hurt. around Shengqi: And so will this! steps back in fear. of Act 2 Act 3 episode continues with Po and Shengqi fighting in slippery ice. As Shengqi takes his sword out, Po takes his scabbard. Po: with scabbard Sorry, Shengqi. My dad’s present is more important than your pretend promise to your imaginary daughter. Shengqi: forward with sword She’s real! Everything I’ve told you is the truth. Po: Yeah righ— down at Shengqi’s necklace ''Wait a minute. I’ve seen that necklace! ''scene momentarily cuts to Xiao Niao holding up her necklace. Po: Shengqi, I— kicks Po to the edge of the mountain and leaps towards him. Po: dodges Hang on, I— fighting Will ya just— accidentally sticks his sword back into the scabbard. Po throws him into the air with the scabbard. Shengqi crashes down and forfeits. Po extends his hand as a truce, to which Shengqi accepts. Po: Now listen to me— guard suddenly appears from the side and walks down with Shengqi’s arm. Guard: Thanks, Dragon Warrior. Shengqi We’ll take it from here. for other guards other guards are shown struggling on moving across the mountain. '' '''Po:' But— Guard: And here’s your reward! up bag of coins Five hundred yuan. takes the bag and looks into the distance. scene cuts to Po imagining himself giving the golden wok to his dad. Mr. Ping: Oh, Po! It’s just what I’ve always wanted. Po You’re the most generous loving, most perfect-est son a father could ask for! scene cuts back to Po smiling as he shakes the bag. Guard: Uh, Dragon Warrior? You can take your reward and go now. Po: Huh? Oh yeah. Po walks up the mountain, he turns around to see a saddened Shengqi. Po looks back and forth between the bag and Shengqi’s necklace. Po: sighs Sorry, dad. pauses Hey guys! guards look at Po. Po: Happy Winter Festival! bag near guards the bag spills out coins, the guards ignore Shengqi to pick it all up. Po: Shengqi’s arm ''Come on, let’s get— '''Guard:' around Hey! other guards turn around with their weapons out. Po: Uhh… leaps into the abyss with Shengqi. As they fall, they both scream. Guard: down They’re gone! scene cuts to Po hanging onto a branch with the spoon. At the same time, Shengqi hangs onto Po’s leg. Po: chuckles You know, I’m starting to think this spoon isn’t so bad after all. after, the branch breaks and the duo screams as they fall to a lower level of the mountain. Po: groans Stupid spoon. Shengqi: Po, why did you do that? Po: smiles Cuz you’re coming with me. A little Winter Festival surprise. duo runs away. scene cuts to a plate of colored buns. More people begin to enter the decorated noodle shop. An ice sculpture of a dragon is shown. Shifu: Welcome to the Winter Festival. Master Chao and Li Tang Ping is seen sitting next to Zeng. Mr. Ping: Where is he? It’s not like Po to be late for the Winter Feast. Or really, any food-related event. Niao is seen handing a wrapped present to a child. As the child runs off, she flicks a ruan string out of boredom, until Tigress appears before her. Tigress: Umm, hi. Xiao Niao: sadly Hi. down ruan Tigress: I thought about what you said. You’re right. I do have a family. looks at Shifu and the Five, who are all laughing with each other. Tigress: Look, I-I know presents aren’t the point of the holiday, but… I thought it’d be nice if you got something more than a party favor Xiao Niao a new ruan Xiao Niao: and laughs happily I love it! Tigress smiles. Xiao Niao: sadly If only my father was here to see it. scene cuts to Po peeking in the shop, while Shengqi hides behind him. Po: Ok. fake mustache on Shengqi Your name is Shufen and you’re a traveling ladder salesman from Hubei, whose caravan was destroyed by a tornado outside— Shengqi: P-Po. What is all this for? Po: Because I’m sneaking you in. Shengqi: Why? Po: To see your daughter. Po moves aside, Xiao Niao is revealed, who immediately recognizes her father. Xiao Niao: gasps ''Daddy! ''she is about to move closer, Constable Hu steps in front of her and walks towards Shengqi. Hu: Shengqi? Stop! By the authority of the Emperor’s seal, I— Po: Hu Get out of the way, knucklehead! Shengqi was framed. Niao hugs her father. Hu: cries I haven’t seen my daughter in years! Po Ever since she ran off to Xinjiang with that amateur magician… Po: Oh. Uhh… hey hey hey. It’s ok. Hu: cries If what you say is true, Po, I’ll petition the Imperial Magistry to overturn Shengqi’s sentence! bows. Xiao Niao: Yay! claps Hu: cries Now, let’s go inside. I need some pudding. Po: Sure thing, buddy. Niao and her father hug again. As Po is about to go in, Mr. Ping suddenly appears near him. Mr. Ping: Oh Po! Where have you been? Po: It’s a long— Mr. Ping: Po’s arm Come come. I have something for you! scene cuts to the interior of the noodle shop kitchen. Mr. Ping: With all the preparations today, I didn’t have time to wrap your present. pulls out silver nunchucks from underneath the counter. Mr. Ping: Here you go, son. Po: ignorance Oh my heavens! It is the nunchucks, which I have been wanting forever! chuckles Thanks, Dad. awkward silence follows as Mr. Ping awaits Po’s present to him. Po: Umm, so, how did the Tang Yuan turn out? Not too gluey? Mr. Ping: Ehh, don’t you have anything for me? Po: out spoon Um, know it’s a little… lumpy, but… here. eyes and looks away in shame I’m sorry it isn’t something better. Mr. Ping: spoon What could be better than this? Po: eyes But isn’t it… kind of a… piece of a junk? Mr. Ping: smiles Of course not, Po. It’s from you! out large box beneath counter I keep all your presents right here… opens the box to reveal many other misshapen spoons. Mr. Ping: …in my collection. I’ll treasure these forever, son. Just like I treasure you. Po: his father I treasure you too, Dad. pauses So, you really like my handmade spoons? Mr. Ping: These are spoons? scene fades to the interior of the shop, where everyone is eating. Xiao Niao: Everyone! I’d love to break in this beautiful, new ruan Tigress gave me… with a good ol’ fashioned Winter Festival sing-a-long! Mr. Ping, Shifu, and the other four give her a frozen, dumbfounded stare. Xiao Niao: singing When neither… Tigress: the seven Hey, it’s a sing-a-long. Sing! Xiao Niao: …fire nor warm attire can hold the cold at bay… The Seven: unison …still loads we love and cherish most will chase that chill away… is seen swaying his head to the song. Villagers are sharing their food with each other. Children are playing. Xiao Niao: When neither fire nor warm attire can hold the cold at bay… Everyone: unison …still loads we love and cherish most will chase that chill away… will chase that chill away… a snowy Valley of Peace begins to zoom out, the tune of Xiao Niao’s song continues. of Act 3 of transcript Category:Transcripts Category:Episode transcripts Category:Legends of Awesomeness transcripts Category:LOA Season 2 transcripts